Shout Out.....

I have been distance during my journey with cancer, distance from family, friends, social media, etc. I must apologize for failing to keep my blog updated during these last few months. This has been one of the hardest things I have gone through.  Not only does Chemo destroy your body, but in a way it breaks the spirit.  Strips you of almost everything your body has.  In the last few months everyone will see the physical signs of Chemo, loss of all hair, loss of appetite, fingernails and toe nails turning black, skin dry, sores etc... But what they don't see is the muscle and joint pain, restless nights, difficulting thinking and putting together thoughts, anxiety for the unknown, fear that if you do beat this beast that it will rear it's ugly head and come back.

Yet here I sit thinking how lucky I am to spend another day with my family and friends.  Days may be hard and I don't know what to expect from it other than it's another memory I get to have.  The last six months have been emotionally and physically hard, yet along this journey I have come to love my medical team and miss seeing them on a weekly visit. My loving husband has stood by my side, he has put up with my distancing myself from him for no unknown reason, endless crying and complaints about my body achys and sleepless nights.  My amazing kids who send loving text messages of support and have stepped up when asked upon for help.  My family in Arizona who calls with words of encouragement and support and I know if I need them they would be here for me at the drop of a hat.  My friends and co-workers (especially Melissa, Diane, Stacy and Monica) who have been so loving and supportive to me. They are truly amazing and make each day just a little brighter and easier.  And to all my loving and distant friends who email me and check in to see if everything is OK and although there is nothing physically they can do just knowing that their thoughts and prayers are with me is enough. Finally to an amazing company ThermoWorks who have given me the time I needed away from work, for raising money to help with some of the expenses along the way and for understanding on the days when all I could do is just sit and cry at my desk because it just hurt to bad to even walk.  My wonderful co-workers who just step up and basically do my physical job so I can do the easier part of the job at my desk.

I know there are others that don't have the kind of support that I have and that is heartbreaking.  This is not only hard physically but its just as emotionally difficult.  Each day is different, it has it's ups and it's downs and you really don't know what it will be until the day gets started.  Some days you feel amazing and some days you feeling like your body is giving up.  The best way to discribe the physically aspect of this is you go from feeling like your 35 years old to 90 years old.  Now I have never been 90 but I would imagine that this is how it would feel. Tired, achy, forgetful, loss of muscle tone, unable to open things with out help, loss of coordination to some degree, unable to form vaulable conversations, etc. But now I am prepared to face my older self and hopefully right now I can learn some lessons to help her out.

GOOD NEWS is that I am more then half way through this process.  My last Chemo treatment was August 6th and I am scheduled for surgery September 14th.  The recovery time for this surgery is 4-6 weeks with one more surgery to follow around December.  Although 2015 started off as a wonderful new beginning with my husband and family, it has thrown it's challenges at us.  I am so grateful that it has brought us closer together instead of the opposite which it could have very easily. I am looking forward to 2016........ It's going to be a GREAT year....

Lisa